Sometimes I wish I could do all the things I want to do. I think about them, I get up and plan to put them into action, I get ready - planning to do them, but then, when it comes time, I just don't. I would just rather sit and do other things, or go out and do something else. Then, when some one that means a lot to me tells me that because my apartment is not clean, I have a problem, I get even more discouraged.
Oddly enough, my roommate called it a week ago. She said that Gabriel really doesn't understand what HE has signed on for in this little experiment of his. He does not understand the progress I have made, and the changes I have enacted. He does not get that you do not have to be all sparkley and shiny; that some mess is alright. He also does not get that some times he needs to tell me things; hypotheticals do not really work with me. And that if I am not doing something right, you need to tell me how to do it right.
This is so unnerving and frustrating. I wish I could say something, but when I tried it yielded unfavorable results. And heart break that I would rather not have, if I can help it. I really wish I could just fast forward through the next few years. I am so over it.
My take - Do whatever it takes to protect something you believe in. If it calls for a heartbreak... that's for the better then.
ReplyDeleteI too have come to discover that - remaining true to your beliefs and your self is key. If someone cannot accept you for that, then they are not worth having; because at the end of the day, it is you who looks back at you in the mirror.
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