It's strange, the range of emotions I go through when talking with Gabe. He very nearly sent me spiraling into the deepest depths (not entirely him, though; I played my own part); but then he gave me a proposition and brought me right back. This is one of the most emotional friendships I think I've ever had, and I love it. It makes me evaluate myself as a member of the human race as well as a woman. It makes me not only realize all the things I try not to think of, but would rather not; and then confront them - either completely or briefly.
The really odd (and possible sadistic) thing, no matter how angry, upset, pissed off, depressed, &c I feel, I'm so glad that I as given this friendship - it is one of those life altering, soul shaking miracles that one hopes lasts forever but if it doesn't, well, at least it happened.
Sometimes I wish I could just come out and say what I'm thinking, but then my brain and my heart get in the way and I just end up all kinds of confused. Today, I'm blaming it on being a girl. And, more importantly, leaving it at that.
So it's a few hours later, but time to get on that tidying - mainly because Elle is coming home at some point tonight and I don't want to deal with that fight (of not having done anything productive all weekend). So I'm going to put on some Train, turn on some lights, grab a few trash bags, and accomplish something. I will be a productive member of this apartment - well, today anyway.
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"Promise me you'll always be happy by my side; I promise to sing to you when all the music dies"
Sometimes its difficult to find on which side of line are we... That's lyf...
ReplyDeleteOr trying all the sides and seeing what feels/fits the best. And, if all else fails, attaching the line to a tree and swinging until things clear up.
ReplyDelete