I want the best for all my friends, honestly I do. But how am I suppose to be a good friend when the guy I've completely fallen for likes my sister? How do I hang out with all of them when I don't know if I could stand seeing them as a couple? Sure, this might all be all unnecessary because he just asked her out, but I cannot help it. I cannot help thinking that they might be great together, but then I remind myself that she might not even be aware that he asked her out. Either way, it breaks my heart. After not hearing from Eugene for months, after breaking my heart and telling me he liked Elle, he breaks my heart again by asking her out. This has all really driven home the point of how insignificant I am, how unattractive I am to people who see me. This is why I never let myself feel anything for a boy, because I was afraid of this happening. What's worse is that it's my sister he likes, so I cannot really hate her or write her out of my life. Even though it just might kill me, I might have to not communicate with Eugene unless he communicates with me first. I refuse to let this really amazing person break my heart anymore. Then again, the heart wants what the heart wants and I'll probably end up completely heart broken until I find out if Elle likes Eugene back or not.... As sadistic as it sounds, I want them to be happy together, but at the same time I want him to like me. Life sucks sometimes. I really hope that something better comes along real soon for me so that I can at least take my mind off of this whole thing..... I want the best for all my friends, honestly I do. But how am I suppose to be a good friend when the guy I've completely fallen for likes my sister? How do I hang out with all of them when I don't know if I could stand seeing them as a couple? Sure, this might all be all unnecessary because he just asked her out, but I cannot help it. I cannot help thinking that they might be great together, but then I remind myself that she might not even be aware that he asked her out. Either way, it breaks my heart. After not hearing from Eugene for months, after breaking my heart and telling me he liked Elle, he breaks my heart again by asking her out. This has all really driven home the point of how insignificant I am, how unattractive I am to people who see me. This is why I never let myself feel anything for a boy, because I was afraid of this happening. What's worse is that it's my sister he likes, so I cannot really hate her or write her out of my life. Even though it just might kill me, I might have to not communicate with Eugene unless he communicates with me first. I refuse to let this really amazing person break my heart anymore. Then again, the heart wants what the heart wants and I'll probably end up completely heart broken until I find out if Elle likes Eugene back or not.... As sadistic as it sounds, I want them to be happy together, but at the same time I want him to like me. Life sucks sometimes. I really hope that something better comes along real soon for me so that I can at least take my mind off of this whole thing.....

I want the best for all my friends, honestly I do.  But how am I suppose to be a good friend when the guy I've completely fallen for likes my sister?  How do I hang out with all of them when I don't know if I could stand seeing them as a couple?  Sure, this might all be all unnecessary because he just asked her out, but I cannot help it.  I cannot help thinking that they might be great together, but then I remind myself that she might not even be aware that he asked her out.  Either way, it breaks my heart.  After not hearing from Eugene for months, after breaking my heart and telling me he liked Elle, he breaks my heart again by asking her out.
This has all really driven home the point of how insignificant I am, how unattractive I am to people who see me. This is why I never let myself feel anything for a boy, because I was afraid of this happening.  What's worse is that it's my sister he likes, so I cannot really hate her or write her out of my life.  Even though it just might kill me, I might have to not communicate with Eugene unless he communicates with me first.  I refuse to let this really amazing person break my heart anymore.  Then again, the heart wants what the heart wants and I'll probably end up completely heart broken until I find out if Elle likes Eugene back or not....
As sadistic as it sounds, I want them to be happy together, but at the same time I want him to like me.  Life sucks sometimes.  I really hope that something better comes along real soon for me so that I can at least take my mind off of this whole thing.....