I'm really just a loser who's getting in your way....

Sometimes music says what we cannot...this is one of those times.

You and I, we were standing watching us fall apart 

So let me go and move along 

I think you're mistaken, I'm sorry to say 

I'm really just a loser who's getting in your way 

I think you've forgotten all of your plans 

See I never meant to be here and I think you should know 

You're better off alone

I want you to fight for me.  I want you to want me because I am me (I don't buy that you already do...).  I want you to not have so many expectations for something that has not even gotten off the ground.

I wish you hadn't killed this before it every really had a chance....

Sure, I'm just as imperfect as you.  Sure, I failed to meet all of the expectations you had for me.  Sure, when you look at it, I failed.

But I think you forget how big this all is/was for me.  I think you forget just how fast we moved.  I think you forget every time we set up a date, YOU canceled on ME.  EVERY TIME.

A large part of me is heart broken and utterly devastated over the fact that you gave up on us before you ever really gave it a chance, but then a small part of me (the part that always hold on to hope, no matter how dire the situation is) keeps telling the rest of me that you've said this before.  You've walked away before.  You've destroyed me before.  And you come back; you make it alright.  Until you do it again.  Rinse and Repeat.

But this time, I'm telling myself it's different.  This time you decided the day before finals week started to end it.  You decided that the day before the most stressful week of my LIFE to break my heart and walk away.  You decided that not only would you take away someone I deeply care for, but you also take away my friend - the person who makes me smile when I just want to give up completely on life and everything.

We might not have been perfect and we might not have lasted forever, but why couldn't we just enjoy the short time we had together?  Why couldn't you give what could have been a chance?  Why do you turn my world upside-down and then, just as I find the ground again, you pull the rug out from under me?

Why do you make it impossible to hate you?

Why do I let you slowly destroy me?