can't seem to concentrate lately. It's like I know that I need to actually complete my assignments, but i keep thinking about what-ifs and could-bes. While it's fantastically lovely to have all these day dreams, it's seriously hurting my resolve to do well this semester. Sometimes I just wish I could take a break from my life (and vacation if you will) and just concentrate on school and living.
I can't wait until this part of my life can be checked off my to do list. That said, I kind of don't (and maybe that's why it's taken me so long to get this far) because I don't really know what I want to do next. I honestly have no plans past graduation. I wish I was called to something so strongly that I couldn't imagine doing anything else - something that gave me the drive to move forward, full steam ahead, which no reservations. I wish I could stop wishing for things and just do them.
I think the first step, unfortunately, is to not live with Elle anymore. It breaks my heart, but I think I need someone that I can be myself around and NOT have to worry about her judging me or whatever.
I also think the shuffle on my iPod is trying to tell me something.....I think I'm just going to continue to play ignorant for now - I can't deal with anymore thinking right now. It hurts too much.
No comments:
Post a Comment